Gawin tae ma Aunt’s third weddin this week, hud tae pick masel up a sweet pair eh steelies fur the occasion aff ma pal Coatbridge Tommy. Fuckin belters so they are, nane eh yir fake timbies here. Cannae wait tae noise up ma brer in law Tony Jambalana an skelp his fuckin baldy coupin. Gonnae huv tae sort oot a present anaw. Don’t hink the wean’s got a Fat Janny CD yit. Crackin’ karaoke singer so he is. Right wee Teddy Pendergrass cunt.
Anaywai, a dinnae know how ah got up the road last night. Ah mind cutting aboot The Pines up Paisley wai fur the karaoke, an smashed a hof pizza crunch aff some goon on the PR road. So wit, his burd looked like eh inside eh a Revel an hud a big pair eh droopy jib jabs. Pure hummin’ Turkey bangers. Still widnae tap us a big Benson.
So aye back tae fuckin’ work the morra. But September weekend next week, gawnae git howfin’ on eh black wine, git a couple eh blues an smash some tele. Some sweet sign zone action.
In fact it might no be his wean.
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